I saw Rohan this past weekend, and he pointed out how I never make any “personal,” text posts on Tumblr anymore, and how he thought my greatest blogging phase was when I had a Tumblr URL that went by something like “pessimism-bitch.” I just shake my head thinking about that.
But here’s another text post. Chances are, only you, Rohan, are reading this. It’d be cool if someone else was too though.
I’m questioning my life everyday these days. The usual, “what am I doing, what is my purpose, why can’t I be as good as the people around me, will I ever find my passion in life,” sort of thing. But I’ve grown used to it now, so that’s not the biggest deal.
But then I have to pile on my new environment; University. I like the university life because of it’s freedom, and how I can wake up and sleep later, and I don’t have to be nagged to do A, B, or C. But I hate it more than high school. I don’t think I’ve really connected or made good friends with anyone, and it’s already been half a term. And then I see all the people I do know well, having fun with their new friends. And I’m like…damn. How’d I screw up already?
And now I question if the people I did know from before really need or want me around as often. I don’t mean seeing me at all, but just like ever so often, a few times a week. Questioning if I’ve made any new friendships and if I still have my old ones? I don’t even know how to deal with all this.